This is a transcript of the spoken word I am doing Thursday morning for the Sunrise. Let me know if you have any questions.
the slurs that were said against me when i was a child, it makes me wild. [pause]
ching chong, china man. the song replays within my head.
to call me names that make me hate who i am?
they don't have right, so i lie awake late into the night, thinking that tomorrow i will fight
i think of come backs and how i shall prevail, over the hate that is spread because my skin is pale.
and i retaliate and recipricate with a hate that becomes a caged rage
and this built up anger turns into anguish and thoughts of, why must i be asian?
so i loathe my classmates for having a white complexion
and here i am with my chinky eye'd asian connection
see, i was not taught by my parents to hate on another race based on physical traits that are a persons face
but society had other plans showing me stereotypes of my fellow man
and to these stereotypes you were expected to conform and to perform
to assimilate and immitate those who are of similar race [pause]
race is nothing but a man made concept based on hate
it was just a tool used by early slave traders to depreciate
the human beings that they bought and sold for profit and gain
race was used to justify the injustices and support prejudices
do not see me as a yellow, but rather a fellow [pause]
a fellow human being that is running alongside you in this race that is known as life.
see, all the struggles that you go through, and all the strife
i know exactly how it feels , and with these words, i bring it to light
the pressure of your peers peering down upon you
to do things you don't really want to
and just because i'm asian, don't think i do well in school
when i bring that report card home, i get yelled at too
my parents brag to me about their friends sons and daughters
NI WEI SHEN ME BU XIANG TA NA YANG HAO HAO XUE XI
he got a full ride, now she's getting a doctorette
why can't you be like them, stay home and study
instead of living your life, boy you so tiao pi
they just want the best for me coming to this country
and each time i fail i see the stares of a thousand family members thinking
this child is so spoiled he amounts to nothing, and my heart starts sinking [beat begins]
and i am shackled by the fear that i am not living up to expectations
as i continue on my path, i lose sight of who i am
i begin to chase the dreams of other people and thinking success is a paycheck with a bunch of zeroes
my childhood memories of being a superhero meets reality and becomes ashes
and my life becomes branded by numbers and dashes and i am one more data point in a system of corporations
i just want to be free from this conflagration
the idea of freedom has many meanings and connotations
to the slaves from back in the day, it was emancipation
going from three fifths of a person to five fiths, a whole
and not being owned by someone who also owned your soul
to those people who are repressed by corrupt governments, freedom means no more tyranny
because they're tired of being denied their civil rights
and to me, freedom means being true to yourself and your values
having the ability to fight for what you believe in, and not be inhibited by what others are thinking
so what does freedom mean to you and how shall you strive for it
i write these lyrics and i write these lines in hopes that someday i will find
my true identity and free myself
fear shall be no longer and i will grow stronger
and there will be no more failure because i will be living up to my expectations and not anyone else's
and i will be able to say scream out loud
"free at last, free at last, lord almighty i am free at last"